Why the “All that matters” syndrome should really just go suck it.
All too often, when the birth didn’t go quite as the mother had hoped for, well-meaning folk are always so quick to produce the, “all that matters is that it’s a healthy baby” . Or the “you know, the end result is all that matters, not the delivery. ” Or even the “that’s not important, darling. All that matters is that you and baby are fine”…All that matters… *cue silent head shake*…Now, I have absolutely no doubt that these well-meaning friends and family are truly just trying to offer that poor mother a bridge over her troubled waters. Except, all that the “bridge” is really doing is belittling her actual feelings, and adding an extra layer of shame. Shame that she really doesn’t need.
And yet, day in and day out, you’ll find countless mothers who have been left with that great disappointment that haunt them, are now also then Continue reading