He’s here. Our son.
So, no, that’s not some new years resolution mumbo jumbo for a post title up there. Im actually referring to the arrival of our brand new little boy…Who,with great love and laughter- laughter evoked by his very specific chosen style of entry into this world – arrived earthside this New Year’s Day. All 3.8 kg of delicious squishiness of him. Twas a beautiful, hot summer’s afternoon at 2:45pm, that was closely followed by celebratory rain showers, as it was with all his sisters’ births.
You are so loved, Remy.
Currently we are three weeks into this newborn life( for the last time ever – forgive me as I will repeatedly mention this, as I come to terms with it all) and I’m still riding that post birth high and glazing over in love, staring at my boy. But, Im not gonna lie, as sweet as this little bug has been, this particular past week has left me exhausted as little dude has winds n cramps as he still learns to deal with my fast milk flow. And I know it gets easier for him as he grows. Having been through this three times before, I know I just have to have patience with it all…I keep reminding myself that by 3months this wont even be an issue anymore.
And as much as I want that to come quickly for him, so that he does not have to struggle anymore, I am also trying my best to soak in these cuddles with this tiny little floppy being, with froggy legs that are still so sweetly tucked under his body. For the best part of this fleeting stage- the smell of a newborn, the little angel breaths, as I watch his chest rise n fall, and the squished up beautiful face..all if it pass far too quickly for anyone’s liking…and so this time, in my last hoorah, I’m trying my best to savour it, with meaningful and intentional acts of slowing down and pressing these precious moments deep into my being, till it’s part of my flesh and bone. And calling upon it when the angst and frustration of sleep deprivation may come knocking loudly in the dark and wee hours of the night….I’ll hold it tightly..like a beacon of light.. bringing clarity and gratitude for this gift of motherhood… (Even though really, this past week’s one hour sleep schpiel I’ve had can now just move along already)
So with that gratitude, and living in the present moment, I’ve been savouring the beautiful bonds that are forming with his sisters (particularly the two youngest ones), the loving gazes i catch his daddy giving him, his ample cheeks that hang well past his face and touch the bed. His mousey-brown hair that has these gorgeous sun-kissed tips, his ash blonde hair covering his whole body that I think is here to stay, and of course, his sharp English nose of his grandmother…Oh, and all his fat rolls (so many I think that he should just open up a bakery!)… What a handsome little fellow this is!
have so much still to share of his birth day…what a wild day that was!It definitely a different birth to the others -again. But between the excitement and the exhaustion, and the glorious, beautiful mess of mothering FOUR, the words elude me for now. I know one day soon I will find them and be able to stitch those images within my mind and emotions of the day into words that I’ll share.But for now, I’m cashing in on all the baby snuggles, enjoying this heavy sleepy body on my chest, burying my nose in his neck and stock piling all the love over here…