Ok, so here I am. Four weeks into what I set out to do, and so far, so good! (This post was meant to go out at the four weeks mark, hey, between momming my small three, work, house owning, living and all that, life gets busy. But I did warn you that it might be quiet around these parts)
But here I am, four weeks after declaring a stop to any form of self deprecation, and bringing on only that which is positive, self-affirming and I have nothing but good news.
Guys, I am four kg’s lighter. Yup, that’s four kgs, in four weeks.
That makes it one kg a week, which is absolutely healthy, by the way. Anything more than that is generally not healthy nor sustainable. Half a kg is also good. But now you’re thinking, ok, so how Trace? How’d you lose it?
Firstly, I did not go on some special diet (yet). And no, I have not yet started up any form of an exercise regime (although, mentally, physically and spiritually I am aching for it, and will make it happen.)
Ok, so now you shift in your chair, maybe even slightly impatient with me…”huh?”…ok, Trace, but how then?” (Or maybe youre not. Maybe you’re not at all shifting in your chair, maybe youre just even reading this, cause youre nice and support my blog. Which is all good. Or maybe because youre amused at how my brain works, and this here blog is like a nice, tiny peepshow into that crazy world inside my head….Also, all good. I’ll tell ya anyway.)
Thing is, when I said I’m digging into this self love thang, I meant it. Im grabbing it with both hands, pulling it in and giving it a big ol’ hug. Im diving head first, with a fancy triple axel somersault. Im all in, because, if anything is evident in this life, is that anything is better than the opposite of that!! And the truth is, if I think about it, I have my life experience to know that this is true.
In any of the times when things were sweet in my life, when successes were tumbling in, when life was good and smooth, and my body was fit and strong, responsive, healthy and agile, it was at a time that I poured nothing but positivity and love into, not only this world, but into my self. I never fed any “I cant do this or I cant do that” crappy stories to myself. And I certainly didn’t feed myself any stories about my body that were critical or self-limiting. Honestly. I stopped that shit when I was 13, when I recognized it for the useless crap it was. This is my body that I wsa given, and it is as every bit as glorious as yours is. (And you better believe that yours is glorious!)
I remember when looking at muscle bound women, I never once felt pangs of jealousy or despise for them. Instead I felt inspiration. Similarly with dancers or martial artist (like my brothers), or gymnasts or yogi’s. I used to look at them, and in my moments of inspiration, I would almost always utter the excited words, “I want to try that!”. Then immediately set out trying it, until I was able to do it.
Sometimes it was quick goals achieved, (like yoga poses of crow, handstands and headstands – I could do them first time by just watching someone else do it.) sometimes it was two or three lesson (pole gymnastics), others were and still are a practice of years (martial arts). But the point was I never on any subconscious level entered self-limiting or sabotaging thoughts when it came to my body.
Even when I did start having small lapses in the way I felt good about my body, I knew my way back to more positive thoughts.
That is, until I didn’t.
The problem was I was doing all that amazing good work in my life very unconsciously. (I was so unaware of the true power of thoughts) And, also to note, it didn’t even start with poor thoughts about my body at first. It started in other areas of my life, and eventually seeped itself into everything else in my life. Like my body image and thoughts about it, and from there it kind of got all infected. And that’s when things started to crumble.
But, the beauty of it all is that there is always the way back, no matter how far down the line you are, there is always a way back. And it’s ALWAYS there for you to take it. No such thing as too late, or not worth it. You are always worth it. Every single time. And you never know how close you are to it all changing around, if only you’d change your thoughts about it.
The mind is a powerful thing, darlings!
The simple fact is: I lost four kilograms in four weeks, purely because of my mindset.
And before you go off and roll your eyes at me, like I’m barfing up mumbo jumbo all up over your screen here. Stay with me.
I used to be an old gym rat that used to weight train with my bro, and sometimes even with some heavy competitive dudes back in the day. I know all about great supplementation, and the key role that one’s diet plays in making great gains, and cutting fat. But before you get there, this self love, this self respect and acceptance of your worthiness is truly a big and very necessary step in it all. Especially for anyone who has ever felt powerless to cravings, or like a “failure” because they couldn’t stick to that diet.
Here’s the thing, when you fill yourself with self love, there’s a certain way you start treating yourself; When you love your body – right as it is, right now – there’s a certain way you start feeding it too. With that love, comes a lot more respect and mindfulness. And I’m not talking about a stressed, overly aware state of being where you’re counting calories, and going nuts and obsessing over how much you now to burn off in the gym. (Honestly, that for me, is a crazy kind of existence. And if you ask me, it can’t be very enjoyable living in such a state.)
What Im talking about, is when you love your body, you become in tune with what it needs, and what would feel good and is good for it. Moreover, there is more love for the food that nourishes your body, and there’s a clear enjoyment of what you put into your body, free from any guilt or stress. When you’re in tune and aligned with your body (as in, in a loving and appreciative state), there is an understanding that all food provides nourishment. All food. In fact, what is the most marked change about it all is that, with this love for your body, this new atunement, one tends to strike a healthier relationship with food itself.
Point being, when you love your body, you will feed your body with love.
No more tendencies towards engorgement; no more deprivation. Just far more ease and comfort if you ask me. And thats what you want, isn’t it? The changes you make towards greater health need to be sustainable, and put you in a natural, good feeling place.
And this atonement is because you love your body right as it is, right now…because it is amazing, and yes, it is so beautiful…Now you may think, how am I to even like what I see, never mind LOVE what I see, when all my reflection shows me is what I don’t want?! (And I get it. Ive been there. Remember how I couldn’t even bare to look at photos of myself with my kids on the beach this past summer? I hear. Now hear me…)..Look deeper, and love your body for WHAT it is – an amazing piece of intricate machinery that can do all things. That can learn all things. That forms part of creation. That if you’re a woman, carries and ensures life within you, and brings these new beings into this world. It can nourish your children. That can hold and protect those little ones. That can provide comfort to them with a mere touch. And absolutely is an amazing piece of biology that faithfully responds to inputs and it certainly can be sculpted into what youd like it to be.
Now, because I absolutely only have love for you. (honest) and want to share in this very real gem of wisdom I’ve been taught, if you’re at all interested in joining me and trying this, this is what I’d love for you to do. Starting today! :
Tell yourself how much you love this body. And if you find that to be a bit tough at first, it’s ok, FIND something about it that you DO love…trust me there is A LOT to love, you just need to practice finding them again. You’ve spent so much of your time practicing the beratement of yourself, of finding that which you’re not satisfied with. You’ve done it so much of your life that it has become a bad habit of thought. Almost natural, that you don’t even realise you’re doing it anymore. Purely habitual. But the nice thing about bad habits is that it can be changed. It was a learnt behavior and you can unlearn that, simply by now only focusing on that which you love. Forget the rest.
And if you’re really still not sure how to kick off this love-talk: Talk about how strong and dependable this body of yours is. How wonderful it feels to move in this body. All the amazing things it has done, can do, and will do…Feel that love with sincerity and genuineness. Say it out loud…Write it down. Repeat it. And just for the next two or three weeks, practice trying to clean up your thoughts. Think only positive thoughts and lather yourself in them.
Don’t even focus on any weight, or scales or measurement. Go into this to find a good feeling place about yourself and your self perceptions. Because, the sweet thing about once you uncover that love for self, is that you’ll find that the scales won’t even matter!
Completely up to you if you would share your experiences in this. But I do hope you’ll share your experiences with me if you do part take. (Even better if you have had experience in this already!)
Now, I may have lost four kgs in the first four weeks, but this follow up blog post just took too long to go out, and so it has actually already been 8 weeks since then. And in that time, I had started making adjustments to my diet. This was especially since I felt I was neglecting my diet as a breastfeeding mom, who works full time, and is on the go quite a bit, and needed to ensure I was fueling this body correctly.
I also kicked off my “maiden voyage” back into gym recently, and am keen to get back in there, as there are few things in this life that give me great zest for life like moving my body.
But I enter all of this mindful that this body of mine has had four pregnancies, and has been stretched out and changed a bit without any “rehabilitation” as such for the past seven years. And as such, as any postpartum mom heading back out there, I need to take special precautions to ensure a good and healthy start. So I will absolutely be sharing this all with you.
Now, few “take homes” for today (cause I like giving out party packets):
• The mind is truly a powerful thing. You breath life into the words you speak, and your thoughts and emotions are your roots of your words. So don’t be sloppy in thoughts and emotions. Try to find a good feeling place within yourself and your emotions.
• Once more, there is power in your words. So be thoughtful and kind with the words and thoughts you use on yourself.
• And whilst I said that the scales don’t matter – because they really don’t, just wanted to remind you that a steady loss of ½ to 1kg a week is perfectly healthy and sustainable. However, anything more than could possibly be putting your body into a state “alert” aka starvation, and thus send it into a state of emergency, causing it to shut down any fat burning, and instead store as much of it as it can. (Which is the opposite of what you want) It does this, as it reacts to the level of deprivation, translates that into there must be “famine” going on, and because the human body is designed for self preservation, it ensures no more valuable nutritional stores are touched – especially not the fat stores. And often, what’s the real kick in the butt of any kidn of diet that requires starvation or deprivation, once you do start consuming a bit more, your body goes into overdrive and stores even more. This is often that effect of yo-yo dieting. So you want to be sure you’re not depriving yourself of good, nutritious food. Instead, try and get in tune with what your body needs, and what will nourish it.
And there you have it, my unsolicited two cents, and update on how things are going my side of this postpartum.
Here’s to loving yourself, just as you are! X