Can we talk about THIS photo?!
Remember our sweet little Balloon Gender Reveal of the other day? The one with all the cute photos, and priceless expressions? Yeah, well, just look THOSE faces up there – I need to talk about this photo!
I mean, if ever the saying, “a picture speaks a 1000 words” was to be demonstrated, then this is the poster boy shot depicting just that!
You see, these two little girls of ours really had their hearts set on a little brother. As in like, really set. All they spoke of was their little brother. “My little brother this, my little rother that”…All day, err’day! Ever since we shared with them that they were going to be big sisters, their eyes lit up as they both relished the “fact” that this was their little brother on their way. They spoke of the things they’d do with him. The things they’d teach him. The silly things he would do that only boys do, and how they would roll their eyes at him, and then laugh and kiss him anyway. They were going to big sister the shiz out of him. And they couldn’t wait!
In fact, it got to a point where I had a serious chat with Morgan-Lee about it. As in, I realised she was so fully invested in the notion of having a little baby brother in the home, I was afraid she might not be able to deal with reality of it not being a boy. So I engaged her – plenty of times. But this girl would not be moved. I got to say, she even started convincing me.
As did Parker! And I mean, Parker was the one that told me about my recent miscarriage before doctor or test could confirm that. So who was I to negate what they were saying?
Granted Parker, I think, was just going with her sister on this to be honest. But she stuck by her boy vote to the bitter end.
When it came time for the gender reveal, about two weeks ago, the two of them were almost off the wall with excitement. In fact, Morgan was now hoping that the box contained BOTH blue and pink balloons…but at the very least, it had to be blue.
So you can only imagine how it went down when those pretty little pink balloons popped up…Sans any trace of blue.
We have a video capturing it all. It’s pretty long. But our photog also managed to get an almost blow by blow shot of their reactions.
To say Morgy was disappointed, would be the understatement of the decade. Dude…she completely stormed off from the scene. With little miss Parker-Grace right on her tail – folded arms and all.
And to be honest, I had to swallow some of my own emotions when I realised what was going down with them. I welled up with emotions and tears the moment my eyes realised it was pink, and there was just a whole lot of realness going on inside of me – that I was surprised I allowed myself to express in front of an “audience”. But when I saw how our girls were dealing, especially Morgan, I knew I had to first tend to their little hearts, before dealing with my own. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a horrid reaction with snot en trane or tantrums. But quite a real and strong one.
There was a lot of “I don’t want another sister” and “it was supposed to be blue” and even “there was supposed to be pink AND Blue!” that whole day. Even when she did lighten up and decide to smile and play again at the party, she expressly let us know “I’m not excited anymore.” As in, you guys can go ahead and celebrate, whatever, but I’m done. It was almost unbelievable.
There was a lot of gentle talk and encouragement that followed ever since. NO frustration. No belittling of her feelings, and certainly no ignoring or negating of what she felt. We knew this disappointment was very real to her. Thankfully, I think, she’s quite adept at using her words to express herself very clearly to us. As is Parker-Grace, and thus it helps us immensely with the way we are able to navigate a situation with her.
Parker-Grace to be honest, didn’t need much chatting for her to come around. Which is weird, because, if you can recall, she was the one that was so resistant to relinquishing her throne as baby of house. I honestly thought she would be the one that we would need to have continued brainstorming as to how to make the new dynamic work. But there she was, kneeling by my bedside that same night, telling me why she was sad about the pink balloons. I listened, and acknowledged her feelings, thereafter followed up with how I amazing I think she will be as a big sister to another little girl. I spoke of all the amazing traits she has and how cool it would be to teach that to the baby. And the games they all three can play. And then, very clearly liking what I had to tell her about what life would be like with a little sister at her side, her eyes lit up again. And just like that, she was all game for a little sister.
Morgan-Lee? Not so much. For the rest of the time, all we heard was that she didn’t want this sister. I was tempted to start freaking out about how much I’m going to have to fork out on therapy one day for her about this. But I kind of knew what she was feeling, and realised patience was the name of the game here. She was just being far more honest and real about her feelings. It’s like I said, man, kids have zero filter! In fact, after much prompting from my side about gratitude, and how we need to appreciate this gift God has given us in this, her little sister, her evening prayers (and I crap you not) went something like this:
“Dear God, thank you for the baby sister, but you can take her back.”
This time, patience or not, I couldn’t help but interject her prayers – probably the first time I reacted strongly to any of her comments. I mean, obviously this is a bit of sensitive button for me, what with understanding the enormous gift we have in this Rainbow baby of ours. But she just responded with a, “but that’s what I feel”.
*Sigh*. Fair enough, kid.
So I kissed her, and told her, I know her and her golden heart too well. I know how much she loves babies (and my God, she really does love babies – it’s wonderful to watch her whenever she spots them and immediately feels compelled to go over and love on them – even strangers.) I told her I knew that, if not now, then when baby is here, she’s going to fall in love with her new little sister. So hard!
So, so freakin’ hard.
That girl is nothing but one big ball of squishy love. That heart of her’s is gonna melt one way or the other – either very soon, or like those wolves on the “Storks” movie when they can’t help themselves around the baby. (have you seen it?Go watch it! Now! Go, go, go!)
So. No need to save up for therapy just yet then! Shooo.. 😉
Ps. This post was written soon after the gender reveal itself, and a reflection of that time – but a lot has happened since then. Will keep you posted.