Every morning throughout this first trimester has become a bit of mental battle to part ways with my bed. With her, my bed, being the goddess of rest and recuperation, and all things warm and cosy, welcoming me with loving arms each time I step into my room, you’d understand that it becomes hard to peel myself away from her. But between my several alarms, and my ever-present desperate urge to not get stuck in two hour traffic, I self-talk myself through every re-adjustment of my body so that my limbs and joints are aligned enough to eventually do a rough velco rip from my bed’s loving grasp…without putting my back out, of course. ‘Cause with pregnancy hormones raging through my body, putting my back out from doing basically nothing, is totally a reality that is just waiting to happen.
As you can tell, I’m still experiencing the new rush of hormones, as well as all the wonder of pregnancy in all it’s glory…yes, in all its sleepy, exhausted, was-that-chloroform, just-shoot-me-now glory. I’m 13 weeks now, but have only just recently crawled out of my mini hibernation to share and debut my week 12 bump – because pregnancy brain does that to you. However, jokes aside, I also felt like perhaps at this stage, a quick first trimester round up is called for!
BUT! Firstly, before I even get to that, what I really want to say, and should have actually said after the very first announcement of this pregnancy, is a big fat THANK YOU! Thank you for all the well wishes you’ve bestowed upon my family and I via this blog, Instagram, FB, phonecalls, in person, and emails. It carries great weight for me, and is truly and humbly appreciated.
Having suffered my first, and rather recent miscarriage, my emotions are obviously heightened in this pregnancy. Does this mean I worry about silly things? Yes, a little, but no more than is normal I would think. There’s certainly no paranoia though. It’s like when I first started sharing our wonderful news with friends, it was clear they felt like they were navigating a it of mine field when trying to find a response to my news: do they jump up and down like they usually would? Or do they cautiously approach the congratulations, pre-empting my possible angst as they try to sweetly reassure me that “everything will be ok this time”.
Fortunately I understand the latter approach, that there is a very logical assumption that I may not be so trigger happy on the celebrations just yet, especially when Im so far from the “safety mark” of 12 weeks. But to help them along, and to grab them firmly by the collars to yank them back onto the “let’s celebrate train” with me, I reassure them, that whilst I have a naturally heightened alertness to every single sensation this time around, I have only positive feelings about it, am completely happy and at ease about things. And if they still look like they’re thinking I’m just saying that to put on some sort of farce, I remind them that I had a bad feeling from the get-go with the last one.
So, yes, I have absolutely and only good vibes about this pregnancy…Overwhelming feelings of gratitude -always. And a wonderful sense that all is well. Even though, yes, you may find me bitching and moaning so now and again. (or like alot) But that’s me with every first trimester.
So, how am I feeling? Like I swallowed a huge bag of sleeping pills, was clubbed over the head while been given sleeping gas, and have spent the last 13 weeks willing myself to not fall asleep in meetings. This extreme fatigue is bad folks. Fortunately, I have no nausea – I never do. But this fatigue is on another level that I cannot describe. It suprises me every time I fall pregnant. It’s not just, oh Im so tired, I haven’t sleep in a week kind of tired, it’s honestly indescribable, and like my whole brain and body is on a system shutdown procedure. It’s like I told Mikey, Im not sure how I am expected to even go on in life during these first three months. But I know this too shall pass. So I patiently wait for second trimester to swing around like a sweet old dear friend who has come bearing cookies.
By the way, I felt baby kicking and moving at 9 weeks 5 days…which is by far the earliest I have ever felt any of my babies move – Morgy was 10 weeks and felt like bubbles. Parky was at 13 weeks with much harder bubbles, if you know what I mean? Granted, I had just had a big glass of coke (and I almost never drink coke) right before the kicking fest Mike and I were treated to. So it could have been a major sugar rush baba had – poor thing. Needless to say I’ve stayed away from coke and the like since. But I’m not going to lie – I LOVED feeling baby move. Honestly one of my fave parts of pregnancy.
Gaining weight, though? Not so much a favourite. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I actually don’t stress about the weight gain at all. I follow my body’s lead, and do my best to make healthy choices (when the hormones are not ruling me towards spicy slap chips). But this time, my clothes fitment has become an issue very early on. I’ve long outgrown all my normal pants – something I only had to switch up after the 4th month.
Which may be a little weird because I’m mostly craving good things like fresh veggies and fruit, juices and smoothies – and yes, all those other really expenso goodies that have made my January feel even longer. I mean almost seventy bucks a pop for some decent freshly squeezed juice/smoothie? Tastes like absolute heaven, yes, but wreaking havoc on my pocket. (Our blender broke) Not to say that’s all I eat, ‘cause lets be real about this, it’s only what I mostly crave. That and beer. (Yes, beer!Don’t ask – I’m not even a beer drinker. But when hubby cracks one open, I literally drool over it, and want to sniff it every time he puts it down. I must be lacking something seriously in my diet –iron? I don’t indulge though.)
But I suppose the rate at which I consume also has a lot to do with my rapid weight gain – I clock around 12 meals a day. Maybe a little shocking for some, but I have to, lest I wish to feel like death for missing that meal. It’s honestly ridiculous though, and no matter how much I try to prepare myself, every pregnancy I go from reasonable, pro-health sane eater to an instant food guzzling machine for the entire length of my first trimester.
Help…And by help, I mean send food. 🙂
As for baby room: will get back to you on that. It’s currently still occupied by one little Parker-Grace who as you know, has with no uncertain terms stated that she’s not ready to part with her cot yet. But we’re getting there people. Slowly but surely. And are currently on a massive mission to get her to be her sister’s sleep buddy in one room. How’s that going you ask? Not good, chief. Not good.
But all things considered, I’m slowly resurfacing, people. Last week I ran my project meetings with verve and sharpness, picking up on every nuance and faltering, managed to salvage some efforts, redirect my team and rejig the plan to make it work in the timeframes, blah, blah, blah – all of that without once fantasizing about taking a nap! Not once! Go me!! This is a massive milestone for me as a preggo, guys. It might not sound like anything to you, but holy crap, it feels good to be something like the old me again. Getting my head back in the game!
So, yeah, that whiney preggy lady is still around unfortunately (a twisted pelvis coupled with all of last year’s injuries will do that to you), but I’ll get there. And I sincerely, hope the paragraph ontop didn’t sound ungrateful or anything, I mean I am so acutely aware that my current “condition” and “state” is all thanks to an incredible miracle that’s taking place within my body – a life is developing within me! But let’s be real, the first trimester can truly kick your butt. And for me, it kicks it 6-love…every time! And possibly even more so this time. But mostly, I hate complaining. It bores me to tears, really. So I’ll be super chuffed once I’m back ontop of my game again in all aspects.
With both Morgy and Parky it took me until week 13 before that second trimester bliss kicked in fully. I’m already 13 weeks this week, and not yet feeling the energy gods fully raining down on me yet – wonder if they got the memo. So hopefully week 14 will take me around that corner…which hopefully will also bring with it more regular, and inspired posts.